We’re now over half way into 2020 &, wow, what a a year it has been so far – who knew that just over six months could throw this much at us all!
The only thing that is still standing firm for me with no sign of crumbling under the pressure of Covid is the list of New Year’s Resolutions that I didn’t make & therefore haven’t broken.
The Great Divide
New year’s resolutions divide audiences every January into either “each to their own” or “new year, same me, as every year”.
I’m always firmly in Camp You Do You as I believe that both self acceptance & self improvement are very personal to us all.
But, for 2020, I made the decision to not make five very specific NYRs for five very specific reasons:
I Will Not Be More Positive
Obviously this doesn’t mean I’ve spent all year so far being purposely negative!
What I mean by not being more positive is that I’ve been feeling my feelings; if I’ve been surrounded by good vibes, I sure have been positive, but at times of negativity I’ve just acknowledged the bad vibes.
As all the cliche Instagram illustrations remind us on an hourly basis, it’s ok to not be ok.
I Will Not Learn A New Skill
I’ve said for the last five years that “this year” my NYR is to learn the art of dressmaking.
Fast forward to 2020 & the little pink sewing machine that my wrestlerman bought me on year one still hasn’t even left the box.
However, I’ve still learned a whole host of new skills from the correct form for a squat to how to sell, service & renew car insurance & I’ve done so organically.
I haven’t had to go out of my way to keep learning &, for this year at least, I will continue in that vein.
Every day is a schoolday… Whether we like it or not!
I Will Not Make More “Me Time”
First & foremost, self care is not & never will be selfish & I will always advocate a spot of “me time” to everyone who needs it.
That said, I have not been purposely setting aside time specifically for myself because I find “me time” can be spent with others – shock horror!
I find enjoyment in being there for others, spending time with my nearest & dearest, catching up with those I don’t see too often.
Although it’s wonderful to be the friend that’s there for others, I get such satisfaction from it for myself that I don’t need specifically to follow more traditional routes of self care to enjoy my “me time”.
I Will Not Save Money
Again, this isn’t to say I’ve been frivolous with my spends – I mean, if only I had the funds to be frivolous with!
My bills & responsibilities are always covered along with my manageable debt payments (for credit cards etc – don’t pretend you haven’t got any!).
The ultimate dream would be to be debt free &, believe me, I’m busting a gut to get ever closer to that goal.
But, because I work so hard to fund my monotonous adulting, I’ve chosen not to squirrel away any leftover disposable income but treat myself.
I don’t buy in extravagance but if I fancy a cheeky takeaway or date night or beauty treatment, you betcha I go for it.
I Will Not “Work On” Relationships
It might sound like a case of cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s face or even a bit of “suck it up buttercup” but, simply put, if you can’t be bothered with me, I will no longer be bothered with you.
Of course it will be sad if this means losing good friends or severing ties with people I thought would be in my life forever, but it would be an even sadder case if I continued to knowingly put effort into one-sided relationships.
I’m not prepared to keep feeling the same upset, frustration, anger that my 2019 self felt because of them, while the third party just carries on regardless either being blissfully unaware of how this affects me or being completely aware & simply not bothered so long as they’re happy.
And, so far this year, I’ve had the best family & friend relationships for a long time because of this.
Same Shit, Different Year
I will still whole heartedly be that walking cliche who vows to make every year “her year”.
But, instead of setting goals, I aim to own each year by simply learning from my past year’s mistakes & living every moment of positivity – or indeed negativity – as they arrive.
And, unlike all the failed attempts of fitness & finance that the world jumped on six months ago but jumped back off again six days in, I’m still going strong on every one of these.
Where do you stand on the new year’s resolutions debate?
Mrs Walmsley| The Unseasoned Wag x
(“5 New Year’s Resolutions I Didn’t Make or Break in 2020” was first published by Mrs Dani Walmsley for The Unseasoned Wag blog)