The media intensive wifestyle of wags is synonymous with luxury. And not just any luxury, but the kind of luxury that our everyday wifestyle could only dream of affording, with all their lunchtime filler sessions & oversized matching designer set of everything.
But do we need that Beckham-esque extravagance to be the happy wife with the happy life? Hell no, especially when even they can’t enjoy that level of luxury while the world is currently on lockdown.
…It would be nice though, right? Even if just a quarantine friendly rendition of a celebrity pampering on an Unseasoned Wag’s budget, because who doesn’t love a bit of a treat of some sort!
A bit of indulgence can go a long way when the gratitude attitude is strong, so it’s time to let go of the “have nots” that The Real Housewives & Co. are infamous for lapping up & focus on our own many overlooked “haves” that we’re lucky to be locked down with right now to recreate our own brand of luxury.
The Grass Is Greener
While lounging on the white sands of a Caribbean island will never not be the perfect way to soak up the sun, the sunshine is just as pleasing on the green green grass of home.
Our literal back gardens are the ultimate in privacy (once we’ve made the neighbours feel suitably awkward when they learn not to make the mistake again of starting a conversation over the fence while you & your partner massage sun lotion on one another’s bare bodies – giggity!) & we don’t have to pay a single penny on travel to be able to enjoy it.
We’re so lucky to have a gorgeous garden that is tended to bi-weekly by a gardener but we’re not fancy enough to have plush garden furniture, so we’ve repurposed bits & bobs from around the house to sprawl out on across the lawn while the dog makes mischief in the bushes.
Our garden get-up might not be the most imaginative or lavish & it definitely doesn’t compete with Mr & Mrs Rooney’s, but the fleece blanket & sofa cushions work an absolute treat in allowing us to bask in the Vitamin D like we’re in an exclusive beachy retreat!
Designer Own Brands
A lot of us have been furloughed. A lot of us are self-employed. A lot of us – like that wrestlerman of mine – are entertainers who have lost all of their shows & appearances.
Designer brands, funnily enough, aren’t at the top of our lockdown shopping lists!
And, of course, none of us want to put any stress or harm on any delivery couriers with our frivolous non-essential purchases of whatever delicacies are on our wish lists.
But none of that mean we can’t spoil ourselves in our own affordable, socially distant way when we do our monthly grocery shop because supermarket “own brands” are still brands (&, if we’re honest, can we really even tell the difference between Gucci jeans & the jeans from George at Asda?).
My non-essential essential purchase was some Tesco’s own Soliel sun block & after sun for our jet setting off to our back garden.
I didn’t get burnt so, whether I’d have spent megabucks on a HydroPeptide sunscreen or paid this cheeky fiver, I still got the same luxury of skincare without jeopardising the household bills. Win!
Be honest, how many of us have had big ambitions to revamp our décor like a budget version of Changing Rooms (hello there, 90s reference!) but use the excuse of not having the time to do it?
Well, we now have a quarantine worth of spare time on our hands with nothing better to wear than our interior designer hats for those newly renovated vibes of luxury!
Whether it’s a quick fix of that annoying cupboard door or a full on overhaul of the living room, now is the time to get it done & get sharing those MTV Cribs style Instagram stories shared.
Our interior design was an lacklustre repurposing of the spare bedroom & front room as new his & hers “offices” as I’m now working my day job from home.
Not quite the luxury of the footballers’ wives but it’s far nicer to have an upcycled picnic table as a workspace than having a laptop & puggle vying for your knee space while you’re talking to a customer!
Detoxify the Soul
We all thought our world had ended with the first stage of lockdown closing all bars & restaurants but, for a lot of us, this is probably a blessing in disguise as lack of alcohol & fried food is giving our bodies an impromptu detox.
None of us are short of a bit of socialising thanks to the wonder of Zoom etc connecting us with everyone we probably didn’t even want to connect with & our skin is looking a lot clearer along with our ever-so-slightly fuller bank accounts.
So, what seemed like the lowest of low blows has actually helped us in a round about way, all without a hefty celebrity spa price tag attached to it.
Who needs wag-endorsed skinny teas & face masks when we have endless bath time & the global pandemic detox (hang on, can I trademark that…?).
Put It In Black & White
As a wannabe writer I know how free-flowing those novel ideas are &, in turn, how exasperating it is when time & motivation are in too short a supply to actually put pen to paper.
We all get these inconceivable & potentially lucrative book concepts the like of which the world could never imagine without us publishing, but everything & its dog gets put before ever doing anything about these oh-so lifechanging narratives.
However, if a breed of human stereotypically (&, obviously, incorrectly!) thought of as being uneducated – such as the wags & reality stars of the world – can bust out a book, so can we.
Katie Price has released eight (!) autobiographies so now is the time to take charge of our wifestyle while we’ve got the time & do like the C-listers do & write our memoirs. Or fantasy novels, or self help books, or poetry anthologies, or whatever genre we never get round to writing about despite our deepest ambitions. Anything Miss Dani Dyer can do, we can do better.
A little bit of luxury really can go a long way with a lot of affordable extravagance that is hidden in plain sight right at our fingertips.
Maybe our fingertips are only manicured to the same level of a trainee with a home bought kit, but they’re manicured nonetheless & we’ll take that.
Mrs Walmsley| The Unseasoned Wag x
(“5 Ways To Recreate Wag Luxury in Our Lockdown Home” was first published by Mrs Dani Walmsley for The Unseasoned Wag blog)