Plus size. Vegan. Queer. Disabled. Single. Artist. Pin up. Survivor. Activist. Goth. Fangirl. Crazy cat lady.
Labels have become something we wear with pride as a positive statement of who we are. But the one label I am proudest to rock is the one that the current girl power movement attaches so many negative connotations to: Wife.
“Man” Is a Dirty Word
A public discussion was recently raised on daytime TV, inviting women to share their view on whether or not they would label themselves a feminist & there was a huge amount of women of various ages & backgrounds who said that, because of the man-hating ideals that certain sources of present day feminism portray, they would never give themselves such a title. And I don’t think this idea is wrong.
Of course, there are a whole wealth of sources that educate us on every element of feminism (should we want to research the subject fully) but the ones that are more readily available are more often than not implying that being a true feminist is all about hating on or dis-empowering men for women to get ahead in life. And, as such, carrying forth the notion that any female who supports a man is a weak example of a woman.
The Meaning Of Feminism
This, my friends, is not the meaning of feminism at all! And the majority of us – female & male – are fully aware of this.
But the general idea that “man” is a dirty word, that should never be uttered by any strong woman, puts the fear of the devil into people like me who openly promote choice power as feminism but don’t want to put ourselves in the firing line of any opposing community. This leaves us being made to feel ashamed to be the thing we’re actually the proudest of.
I Am Wife, Hear Me Roar!
I am Mrs Crater, I am the wife of my husband & I am proud of this, not because I want to be labelled as simply half of a whole but because “wife” can mean whatever I want it to; it can quite literally mean a thousand different things to a thousand different women.
For me, being a wife means that I am still 100% everything I was before marriage as well as everything I could be as a single woman, all with the added bonus of having a husband to look after (whether in the 1950s housewife way or in the niche wrestling wag way) & who looks after me in turn – a team.
From the outside – or to the man-hating brand of feminism – I appear weak with no independence or self worth, relying on a man to make me feel I’m worth anything, obeying his every need.
Whereas in reality, I exercise my choice power as a strong woman & I choose to look after him in & allow him to look after me in the way that we do.
I’m still as independent as I ever have been with my own job, finances, social life, aspirations, only I don’t do these things purely for me but for us. And the same applies to him with his wrestling career etc, doing it for me just as much as he does it for himself. Again, a team!
A Wife’s Perogative
I don’t spend my days cooking & cleaning for that Crater o’ mine but, if that’s how I wanted to pass my time & I was in a position not to need a full time job, I absolutely would do that. And where’s the shame in that?
Doing that is as strong a feminist move as any bra burning shenanigans as it takes a strong woman to exercise that choice power, especially when going against the grain of what the modern world deems wrong or right.
Can wives label themselves as feminists? Yes we bloody well can!
Dani | Mrs Crater x