Happy New Year to
wrestling fans only! Because the only readers of my blog are wrestling fans curious about the “real” life of the man behind the Crater mask, as told by his wife, right? all readers of The Unseasoned Wag!
Just there, I needlessly based the entire readership of my blog on a small fact, writing off everyone else in one sweeping statement, which instantly excludes everyone who isn’t a wrestling fan in one fell swoop.
This is a slightly twattish move for reasons edging ever nearer to negative stereotyping, even if we can understand how that conclusion – in all innocence & educated assumptions – could’ve been reached. Because, in a more accepting 21st Century society that embraces choice power, we’re all more open-minded than to tar everyone with the same brush. Right? Right!
So, with that said, I need to wish all of you lovely lot a very Happy New Year then get this off my chest…
(Though not quite as literally as the photo suggests but I made you look!)
What is currently eating away at me right now, shockingly enough, is the Body Positivity community.
I truly adore the BoPo community but what was always such a supportive, inclusive scene that celebrates indivuality & choice power, seems to be turning into a contradictory, overly-opinionated place of unnecessary negativity since 01/01/19 & it seems to be happening for two innocent and still positive reasons:
- “New Year’s Resolutions”: Some seem to be taking these to mean that if any individual has a goal they wish to reach & wish to start working on at the turn of the new year, they couldn’t possibly have a shred of BoPo within them. That, or that mainstream media has brainwashed these poor misguided folk into wanting to change against their will. Well, wrong & wrong! One can still have the most insanely genuine positivity yet still have elements of life they wish to improve on (key word being “improve” not “change”!), & because even if said NYR is a common – even cliche – choice across all boards, why is it so unbelievable to think an intelligent individual who knows their own worth in all aspects could only ever want to commit to such a goal by choice? We’re all fully aware of the influence the media has on some but we’re all still in control of our own decision making.
- Individuals’ Choices to Lose Weight: Now, I do understand how it could seem in certain instances that choosing to lose weight at the first whiff of turning over a new leaf may indicate an individual isn’t quite so body positive – it could imply that they’ve been looking for a reason to ditch the fat they’ve been weighing up (no pun intended!) & the abundance of post-christmas fad diets have replaced their last ounces of uncertain body positivity, never to return til they hit their “target weight”. But, do you know what? Even if that is so, hats of to them for giving it a try if that’s how they feel! That big decision should be given the same motivation & empowerment that all other aspects of BoPo promotes – choice power ftw! However, in the same way we all have our own very personal, very unique reasons for choosing the BoPo way of wellbeing, we all also have our own very personal, very unique reasons for wanting to lose weight if we choose to & – shock horror! – they’re not all to do with media brainwashing or not having any self love.
Take big ol’ me for example: I’m more than happy in my own size 24 body, I love who I am inside that body & the life I live with it & I do believe myself to be a body positive, fat accepting, self loving woman… But beyond all of that, I’m also a pre-diabetic sob story with high blood pressure, a family history of heart disease & a handful of my own medical issues that have mostly been medically proven for symptoms to lessen with weight loss/for sufferers not carrying the same excess 10+ stone as I.
Top that all off with my potential infertility & the crazy strict IVF guidelines in terms of weight, I think it could be quite obvious that I’d like to shift the odd pound or two. Forever loving the cliche “you can be a masterpiece & a work in progress at the same time” for this very reason.
Improvement, Not Change
And with regards to New Year’s Resolutions, for the most part I love my job in customer services within the insurance industry & am so super positive that it’s the reason I have a roof on our happy home. But I’ve still made that 2019 commitment to myself to make steps towards my dream career in writing (see my last post, New Year, New(ish) You: The “Stop Riding His Coattails” Edition).
Do I lack in positivity? No. Am I being brainwashed by a fat-hating society wanting me to change to fit into their ideals? No. I’m simply facing reality & accepting that in the black of “you poor negative people are being brainwashed” & the white of “we are who we are so must love ourselves warts & all & never try better ourselves”, there are some very clear grey areas.
Not all grey areas need addressing & analysing, but they most definitely don’t need the negative attention they seem to be getting currently.
Each To Their Own
Everyone’s story is their own; they may want to improve themselves or lose weight for their career, hobby, bucket list, relationship, health, confidence, finance – the list goes on!
And, similarly, there are lots of very personal stories behind the shade thrown over the subjects of New Year’s Resolutions & new year weight loss commitments – such as eating disorder recovery & tragic experiences being triggered at this time of year – so please don’t think I’m set out to get all Katie Hopkins on yo’ asses just to cause controversy through discussion, because I genuinely understand these reasons & clearly see how & why negative assumptions of the above are being made. But we know what they always say about assumptions!
All I’m really trying to say is that not everything is as black & white as being pro-BoPo or anti-BoPo & that, before making potentially offensive sweeping statements of negativity, we all just take a second to realise how vastly varying each of our individual stories are from one another.
Or more specifically, don’t shun us from the Body Positivity community with passive aggressive Instagram posts just because we might want to improve our already clearly fabulous selves for we have our own reasons.
Happy 2019 to all whatever you’ve chosen to do or not do with it! Now you go do you, boo.
Dani | Mrs Crater x