There is a big difference in being alone & being lonely; one is a state of being, the other is the emotion you feel about that, & I feel both of those on a regular basis in my Wag life.
Alone Vs Lonely
To begin with, there’s no way to avoid the initial stab of loneliness of coming home to an empty house when he’s away or waving him goodbye as he leaves for a show but as soon as my overactive emotions have got over their diva-like strop, they give me a mental fist bump & loneliness subsides into just “being alone”. And being alone means a whole world of precious golden Me Time!
Some of us have very little time to ourselves while others find we have so much of it on our hands that it slowly slides to feeling lonely. But whatever the weather, we should learn to appreciate our Me Time & enjoy our own company.
So, to you from me – a naturally sulky, over emotional loner who through both circumstance & choice sprends much time alone – here is my Top 5 Ways to Enjoy Yourself By Yourself.
Top 5 Ways To Enjoy Yourself By Yourself
No.1 – Self Care
We’re all guilty in the most admirable way of putting other peoples’ needs before our own – and respect to us for doing so! – but it’s not selfish to look after Number One with a spot of self care.
Enjoy a long bath. Get your hair done. Read your favourite book. Text your best friend. Have a workout. Go for a walk. Have a Netflix binge. Eat your favourite sweet treat. When you next find yourself alone, put yourself first & look after yourself – nobody begrudges you this & while you’re alone, you have literally nobody to come between you & some deserved self care.
No.2 – Mate Dates
Even the strongest willed, most independent individual must admit that if they have some rare “spare” time at the same time as their partner-shape, their first choice will always be to spend it with them, just as I do with my wrestlerman. Unashamedly & unapologetically!
It doesn’t mean we love our friends any less by choosing to be with our other half over them but Me Time is a wonderful time to arrange mate dates to share the fun you all deserve together.
No guilt or longing for who or what is left behind while you do it, just pure, unadulterated friend talk which, in the case of my bestie Vicky & me, always reverts back to husbands anyway!
No.3 – Indulge Your Guilty TV Pleasures
You love reality TV but your husband hates it. You have a box full to bursting with recordings of it all to catch up on. You have some cosy couple time together in front of the tele so these are instantly out of the running because you have to find something you’ll both enjoy. The only couch potato time you get is, enjoyably, as a couple so you get all the snuggles & smooches your heart desires but those shows still remain out of reach.
Being alone is the perfect resolution to that! It means you can still love every moment otherwise but can still binge watch as much of your own questionable TV epidodes as you can squeeze in without being inconsiderate towards the less trashy viewing preference of others.
No.4 – Family Reunion
Admit it, when we’re caught up in the rat race, receiving that phone call from your Nanna right as you’re sitting down to eat after a long day at work & an argument about the housework & a bill through the door makes catching up with your favourite older lady feel like a chore. It always happens when, to be frank, you just can’t be bothered.
Being alone is when you welcome these telephone family reunions where you can enjoy their conversation, catch up on each others’ lives, find out what’s going on it their world.
Naturally, these calls just wait til you’re busy because life is just a bitch like that! So take control during your Me Time; dial the number & initiate that hour long phone call that you usually avoid, do it at a time you won’t begrudge hearing repeated stories, at a time you’ll enjoy & appreciate what you’re hearing about their life, at a time when you want to respond & tell them about what’s new with you to actually make it an actual conversation as opposed to just a listening comprehension.
No.5 – Plan For The Future
I don’t mean as deep as life goals (though if you want to, you damn well go for it!) but grab your diary & plan for your foreseeable – when will your next date night be? Or your next run of Me Time? Do you want to organise anything special? Do you have any time specific goals? Do you need to make any appointments or secure any bookings? Do you want to make arrangements with a friend?
It might seem cheesy, obvious or even like hard work if you’re not an anxious planner geek such as I but using your time alone to consider the future will really pay off to make your Me, Them, We & Us Time that bit more special, knowing you can simply enjoy with no organising necessary.
I’ve perfected the above tricks over the last four years & with them I can hand-on-heart say that when I am alone I now truly appreciate that time & enjoy my own company.
It’s taken a good while for me to separate the feeling lonely from the being alone in my mind & I do still miss my globetrotting husband whenever he’s away, but being alone & being me can now even be fun!
Mrs Walmsley | The Unseasoned Wag x